REAL MEN

I would like to bring up a topic that might make some feel very uncomfortable. I would ask though that if you do, you really put those feelings to test. Ask yourself why it is you are feeling uncomfortable. Is it truth that is driving that discomfort, or is it something that has been dictated by your culture, surroundings, or personal experiences. I would say in most cases it would more than likely be the latter.

First of all what image comes to mind when you hear the words, "REAL MEN". I would venture to say that it provokes images that mirror activities such as various sports, hard work, maybe even a somewhat abrasive or reserved personality. In most cases it would rarely bring up thoughts of sensitivity, artistic or creative ability, or even being affectionate. Interesting isn't it? Was this the image that Christ,"the ultimate example of manhood" modeled for us? I really doubt it.

I believe Jesus would have made direct eye contact with whoever he was communicating with. I believe He was one who would greet another person, even another man, with a big hug with both arms extended. I believe He was sensitive, caring, and made anyone he was spending time with feel they were extremely special to Him. It would be His desire to make sure that person felt the intense love He had in his heart for them.

Now. As men in our day and time? These very qualities that Jesus modeled would be somewhat uncomfortable for us.  Others who observed it would be quick to jump to assumptions that were not accurate. I think most of us would admit that we need it. We need to feel love and acceptance from other men. We have allowed culture and the loud voices of those who have gone beyond what is considered "healthy affection" to steal this very important element from our lives. Over time we have allowed ourselves to settle with surface, shallow, distant relationships that barely resemble anything close to genuine or authentic.

I grew up in an environment where men were rough around the edges, affection was close to non existent, and conversation was limited to cars, football, and the latest jokes. In many ways I felt the "desire" for deeper relationships with my male peers was a "personal issue" when in fact it was a core human need. This feeling has a tendency to teach you to be isolated and disconnected from other men. You learn to exist in this fabricated idea of what male relationships should "look like" and become confused as to what that need for healthy, rewarding, nurturing interaction with other men really is.

I ask you this. When is Satan most successful in distorting and confusing our emotions and our thoughts? When we isolate ourselves. He surrounds us like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. A lions most vulnerable prey is a creature that has fallen away or pulled away from the group. Could it be that so many of the struggles that are quickly becoming common among men are somehow related to this isolation? Could it be that culture dictating that "surface and shallow" are somehow "manly" is an attempt to isolate men to make them more vulnerable?

I can't possibly pretend to know where anyone is on this scale. We are all a result of a unique set of influences and surroundings. I think what we as men should all consider is that it is "OK" to reach out to our Brother and show affection. It is one of the most obvious signs of being secure in our manhood to feel the freedom to tell our Brother we love him. It is absolutely healthy and healing for men to connect on a deeper level than we have observed from many in our previous generation.

I know I am not where I need to be on this journey but God has done some tremendous work in my heart and life to show me that when He said, "and the greatest of these is love", it is exactly what He meant. It is not just to be applied to the opposite gender. It is to be applied to all men. I pray that we will learn to reach out. To be sensitive. To go deeper. To show sincere concern. To be authentic. To be "LIKE CHRIST".